Ever watch a show and go....THAT'S What I needed

I have not thought about this for awhile, but I was thinking about how these things happen to people. Losing a family member is one of those things. I was going to move this to my LJ when I am finished, but my work's wifi doesn't allow it. I'm kind of like well...guess I will talk here.

How a certain show helped me cope, The Magicians talks about a lot of things and when I think about it, yeah it inspired me to write my book, but I never thought it spoke of loss as mine. I lost a sister in 2019, and for the most part it was another reason I stayed the course and continued to write my book.

So how does The Magicians affect me? Well...one of the main characters died to save his friends, I remember the episode and how angry I was the first time I saw it. Then I rewatched it back in December and then saw Season 5 Episode 2 and went that's exactly how I felt! Yeah, I would do that, I would steal my sister's book from the Library and try to do this spell. I realized that the main cast were coping in their own way, and some more open about than others.

While I related to Julia and Alice's views, I saw it my own way, Julia was trying to find meaning, while Alice was trying to figure out how she could find her closure. The truth is I realized how both were like me, Julia was able to take on the idea that something was going to happen to Fillory and stepped into Quentin's shoes as the hero, while Alice wanted to drown. I wanted to find my meaning and found it staring right at the one thing my sister loved, she loved reading Clive Barker books.

Now here comes my Julia side, I was and am going to rebuild the book collection starting with Imagica and all the books my sister has, then build from there. Going from one collection to another and hoping that it makes for a good memorial, then when my nephew is ready, I will give him this amazing collection to read and enjoy. I know my sister would want that for him, to understand that there is a dark and light world out there.

There is so much I could say and not say about it, but when I think about all the things my sister loved about her hobbies. Though one such hobby is driving me bonkers, she fell into Fragrant Jewels Bathbomb rings collecting and I'm kind of like oh joy...I have hundreds of these things now! LOL....my nephew does not need these, but I can set up something for her.

Bad Storyboard ideas!

Seriously when I started looking at Book 2 I am starting to think my brain can't get anymore joy out of this idea. I am not saying I hate my work, but sometimes I wish I would delete it entirely and start from scratch because some ideas need to be reworded or thought of differently. I suppose that as a writer that happens to everyone, though I am acutely aware of my own criticism of myself and that makes me a lot worse toward myself.

In other weird random news around me, apparently the idiot in office wants to go to war with Iran, while I try to stay out of politics, this just strikes me as not my thing. I am not the type of person who thinks this is going to go well for writers around the US. I'm sorry to put it out there, but honestly, there are some fictional authors who might get in trouble for saying they're against the idea. I being one of those who are against the idea, it is just that simple idea that maybe it wouldn't work out for us anyway.

Truthfully that's all I am going to say on the matter, this is not my idea and I'm just going to stick with what I know best, keep writing and not worry about this too much.

Went back and forth with editing

I took a bit of a break from editing for a time and was thinking about what I'm going to be very busy tomorrow regarding the book. I have thought about what I'm going to be doing for the next few weeks as I am finalizing the rest of the books and starting on hashing out Book 2. The fact the Dragon's Library I believe should be at least a few books long is making it seem like I have lost half my mind already.

I am also trying to balance my relationship and also my hope that this will be the year Lee and I tie the knot. I have thought long and hard about this kind of stuff for years and the truth is the book and him are pretty much been a focus for awhile.