The Virus made writing impossible

So I went out to get my share of notebooks and got thoroughly chewed out because I don't own a mask and putting something on my face actually doesn't always work for me. I tried to explain, but apparently, this just turned into a why bother moment. So I decided that the Dragon's Library will be closing up shop until further notice or until I get a steady supply of notebooks that I can use for writing. People honestly are unpleasant, and makes me not want to write anymore.

I also had to close down my Shadow Tales: On Going FB Story because the D&D group that comes to my house during my fiance's sessions no longer can come over. I am basically stuck and unable to move any further from what projects  I am working on, so I figured this just another reason to give up on writing.

I love to write and I love to make stories, but right now, COVID-19 just shut my down for awhile, and I am having a lot of trouble with ideas. I sit staring at a piece of paper and realize, I have to make sure to make it last...and sadly writing a story is trivial in the eyes of majority of this country. My ability to write is a trivial thing and though it keeps me happy, it pisses other people off, so I am giving up.

I don't know what else I can do...I have an FB page and works...I don't know whether I should just give up or just tell people the book is delayed for indefinitely which means it maybe forever before I can start writing again.

The question arises as to why I won't use a computer, the reason is it is too simple to miss mistakes or errors on a computer, some programs don't check for grammar or sentence issues. So I do it myself and re-edit the books at least 3 times. Sadly, I usually write everything down and keep a record of it. I don't trust the notebooks when I am done, I use it as reference if I need to. Using a computer makes it harder because I am more concerned with messing up.

Though I do write fan fiction using a computer and writing anything, that is because I have a pre-set world with pre-set rules. With my books, I am the one making the rules and I have to make sure they work. This means I write it all down in note books and then reference them continually, If I used a computer to keep track of it, I lose track and I get confused.

Giving up...on a story

I was looking into building a website for the Dragon's Library, but realized early on that somehow that is a bad idea. I have tried to be patient regarding a lot of things, but my confidence hit the lowest side and it was all because of a friend's relative named Paul Zollo who called me a retard and that LD can't be writers.

I honestly felt like shit and refused to think about it, I was glad his relative, Rebecca Zollo deleted the conversation, but my heart sank. My heart sank because this person called me a loser and my book was utterly terrible in his eyes. I have been upset because he took advantage of my learning disability, than I learned that ALL truckers HATE learning disabled persons.

I don't think I will ever trust a trucker...in truth, I will point blank NEVER sign a book to a trucker

Getting Ideas from Shows

I have been watching The Hunters and also finding myself wondering how I can create a group that works alongside the Grand Dragon and also maintain a sense of spirit. I was watching the show and thinking about the characters and who they are.

Book writing turns depressing

I was talking to someone about writing on FB and I was called selfish, I was staring and asked why I was and all I got is that comment, "No one wants to read your book," I felt compelled to just stop trying at times. I want to keep writing, but the fact is I want to know why people hate writers.

I am wondering if maybe I should give up hope of ever writing something worthwhile, I have tried so many times to write something I love. The Dragon's Library is what I love, but its when people tell you things like I am a terrible person for releasing a book to take people's minds off COVID-19. I am just not sure how to handle that kind of rejection anymore.

I have tried, I have been trying to stay positive, but my heart just broke when people tell me that I'm hated for being an author. I did not do anything and I wish I could just say something to make it all better and make people understand.

I just fixed my Patreon and also a few others things on my book's FB page and it sucks that I am now thinking I might have to shut these things down because of it. I am also depressed that I can't continue what I am working on. I have so much artwork and so much promise in the story. I just feel disappointed in myself and I have no idea where I am going anymore.

Figuring out Book 2

I am thinking about this, I am working on the second book and I am trying to find something else about what I should do next. I am thinking about this and while listening to my favorite Youtubers. I am sort of annoyed a little with one of the stories. Socially awkward, but then again, having had someone who is a stalker and thinks he can be vocal about what I can and can't do with my life.

The truth is, I thought about all this, yeah, I'm a writer now, I am an author and I hope to gods that this one CREEPER isn't trying to be a fanboy. It may sound pretty heartless, but I have to say this is my own issue with people.

Never felt more motivated

I was working on fanfiction today, I usually don't write this long for an entire day, but here I am writing the rest of the Prelude to War of The Planor. I have not thought about calling the Tales of the Planor that, but again, this is the first set of stories that will not focus on Belinda, Sam, Thadeious, and Kel. I am going to focus on the side cast in the Tales of the Planor Series.

The sooner I get these done the better. I am hoping that they are going to fair well considering how many people are home. I am still unsure that I brought these books out at the correct time.